Radio 2 feels the Ball

Housewives' (and some househusbands', let's not discriminate) favourite Michael Ball has been given his very own Radio 2 show.

Controller Lesley Douglas explains: "His warmth and sense of humour make him perfect Sunday morning company."

"Good Sunday morning company", perhaps, but "perfect Sunday morning company" status is reserved for those who, on top of the warmth and humour, also provide alka seltzers, fry-ups and Simpsons DVDs.

Michael adds: "I hope listeners will make a regular date to have lunch with me on Sunday." Oooh, Michael, you are a tease!

Yes, it's the day of the Lord... Michael Ball's on the radio... so safe... so wholesome... Celebritish have come out in hives! Where's Katona when you need her? Now there's a woman whose warmth and sense of humour make her perfect Sunday morning company - Lesley, get her on the phone now!

Who's that girl? Um, Michael Ball, obviously

News reaches Celebritish this morning that Michael Ball's fans have been complaining at the Hairspray previews. Not because it's poor — Celebritish have been to see it and can confirm it's a great piece of high camp musical theatre — but because, um, they don't think he's in it.

See, if you've been living under a rock since the Eighties, and entirely missed the Eighties original, the very successful remake earlier this year AND all the publicity surrounding this production, you won't know that the role of the mother in the show is always taken by a man — a man in a fat suit, a wig, and various feminine accoutrements.

Now, the outfit Ball wears is impressive, as is his performance, but this story really doesn't give the most positive impression of his fans' mental prowess does it? They managed to ignore the posters, the programmes, the publicity, the works, in their blindly devoted dash to catch their idol doing something, anything, on a stage. We feel really sorry for them though, and can just imagine them waiting on tenterhooks for their hero to appear while idly wondering to themselves who the fat bird playing the mother is, as she looks kinda familiar... D'oh!