Forget Big Brother - it's so dire this year that even Celebritish have given up on it - all eyes are on Strictly Come Dancing's slightly lacklustre cousin, Dancing On Ice, which starts on Sunday.
The celebrities were unveiled at the Natural History Museum this morning and it was a veritable smorgasbord of desperate has-beens.
As reported everywhere last week, Gareth Gates is taking part and apparently he's getting paid twice as much as the rest of the 'stars'. We have no idea why, we wouldn't put him above an amoeba, let alone Suzanne Shaw from Hear'say.
Strangely, Tim Vincent is also in the line-up. Last we heard he was doing well as a TV presenter in the US of A but we guess the work dried up. If we have to have him can America take David Gest back please?
Then there was the one-time singer and now lingerie model Samantha Mumba. She's got a bit of a head start having gone to stage school for 12 years (no doubt this small point will be ignored on the show) but Alesha Dixon's dance school experience didn't seem to lose her any votes on Strictly.
Also taking part are neurotic clean-freak Aggie McKenzie and every woman's dream-borderline-paedo-shag Chris Fountain from Hollyoaks.
There seem to be some other people in the picture but I haven't the foggiest who they are and quite frankly I don't care. All I do know is that it's always funny when celebrities follow their waning stars and end up falling on their freezing cold arses.
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