Michael paid for his memories

Dope-smoking, rough trade-enjoying, rarely-conscious singer George Michael is being paid silly money by publisher HarperCollins to write his memoirs.

George will apparently pen the work himself rather than using a ghost writer, and this idea strikes less dread into our souls than usual — anyone talented enough to write Careless Whisper on a bus at an age when most of us were just writing embarrassingly bad poetry should be able to come up with something entertaining at the very least.

Question is - what new tidbit of scandal are the marketing people going to sell the "no-holds-barred" autobiography on? George is admirably open about his private life anyway, so unless he's hiding something up his sleeve that beats drug addiction and cottaging we're not interested.