Mel B has come a disappointing second in Dancing With The Stars.
She lost out to Helio Castroneves (ummm, us neither) on audience votes, despite the judges thinking she was the best. A shame, because the Spice Girl said before the results were announced that "to be embraced by America would leave me speechless". Damn you America, why didn't you vote for her on that promise?
Judge Bruno Tonioli (who must be personally responsible for most of the earth's carbon emissions, as he's managing to judge Dancing With The Stars and Strictly at the same time), called Mel "a complete dancer". We knew she was a complete something.
Her partner Maksim Chmerkovskiy added that Mel had "improved 100 per cent" in their ten weeks together. So she must have been properly cack to begin with then. OK, he's a dancer not a statistician, but Celebritish are pedants and don't tolerate that kind of thing.
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