A Twisted Carol

Nope this isn't about Margaret Thatcher's daughter, its even worse.

There is to be a comedy pantomime reworking of A Christmas Carol starring Alfie Allen, Jaime Winstone, David Gest, Harry Enfield and Miquita Oliver.

We're struggling to put a positive spin on this – it is for charity after all – but we can't. Pantomimes are supposed to be the antithesis of cool, when did they become so hip as to warrant the occupants of the Hawley Arms joining in?

I suppose it could be worse, Chesney Hawkes' Christmas Cracker extravaganza at Club 1 in Ascot has the following line up. Read it and quite literally weep: Chesney Hawkes, Tony Hawks, Bobby Davro, Jason Donovan, Nik Kershaw, Brandon Block, Rick Parfitt Jnr, Bernard Cribbins

ps. Alfie Allen was supposed to be at the launch of A Twisted Carol but didn't turn up. Does this signal the end to a very, very short romance with Jaime Winstone? I do hope so, then she can get on with her important work for the celebrity sibling inbreeding programme.