Knightley-watch: 'inhaling puddings'

Celebritish had a rare opportunity yesterday to sample the delights of the Richard And Judy show - and speaking of all things Dick Madeley, we thoroughly recommend "his" blog. Hee-larious reading, we think you'll agree.

Anyway, there was an interesting debate about gayness featuring Celebrity Comedy Gay Stephen K Amos, which came to the shocking conclusion that gay people are all different and therefore should not be stereotyped. Verily, Celebritish was shocked at this revelation.

Then we were treated to a taster of an interview with Keira Knightley and Matthew Rhys, stars of upcoming Dylan Thomas biopic The Edge Of Love. And guess what darling Keira was banging on about this time? Yes, her weight, her struggle with her natural thinness (Celebritish can sympathise here) and how the papers are mean to her. Apparently her publicist called her to tell her one paper had written 'the worst thing she'd ever read about anyone'. She clearly doesn't share a publicist with Heather Mills, then.

Matthew Rhys then backed up Keira's 'I eat like a horse, honest' claims, declaring that she and Sienna Miller 'inhaled puddings' on the film set. Is this some crazy new LA diet craze about which we've yet to hear?

Piers disses Keirs

Today, Celebritish has to make a truly shameful confession. Yes, readers, we agree with something that Piers Morgan said. We know, a shocking revelation.

Piers, you see, has told beautiful misery-guts Keira Knightley to stop 'er whining.

He comments: "She moans about being famous then does endless photo sessions. You can't use the media to promote yourself and then attack them! My message to Keira is, 'If you'd like me to get off your case, then stop bleating'."

Hear, hear!

Keira has been known to bleat the following: "Australian Aborigines say that with every photo that is taken, a piece of your soul goes with it. And there are some days when I kind of believe it."

Presumably not the days when she did this, this, or this. And we're fairly sure it wasn't her soul the photographers were interested in capturing.

They're very nice pics, undoubtedly, but we don't think the Aboriginals would approve...

Keira adamantly refuses to slip her finger into Rupert's ring

Keira - seemingly on a mission to make Celebritish hunt her down and kill her - has caused offence yet again, this time to her longterm boyfriend Rupert Friend.

He gave her an antique ring to signify their love, but she refused to wear it, instead opting for bling that had been sent by Chanel.

We've yet to hear a story about Knightley which doesn't make us want to stab her with pins, but while we wait we've decided to take up a hobby. At the moment we're making the foundations for our life sized Taj Mahal built out of matchsticks.

Keira is seriously annoying

Keira Knightley has revealed she's terrified of taking on comedy roles (strange, we thought her acting was a joke in Love Actually).

In a new interview she says something about being into "darker things at the moment" (whatever that means) but it's probably because when she finds something funny, she turns from a rather striking looking lady:

into some kind of terrifying laughy monster:

She goes on and on in her inimitable style, trying to be self-deprecating but actually coming across as an annoying miserable bitch:
"I think I am quite frightened of comedy. It’s never something that I’ve watched a lot. Getting involved in a Will Ferrell comedy would terrify me."

After plenty more moaning she finally has an epiphany:
“I’m not really interested in trying to look at myself in a film."

You and the rest of us Keira, maybe just stop making films and everyone will be happy.

Keira Knightley is just a moody bastard - official

Keira is sulking about the press in an interview with the press yet again:

'What I hate is that they shove in your face: this is what you want to be. And you think, f*** that, I don't want it. Stop telling me I want to look like her. Stop telling me I want that life. I don't.''

If I was a filmstar I'd be far too busy snorting coke and having orgies to worry about what Neil Sean has to say about me but perhaps she enjoys reading about herself a little more than she lets on, it seems she spends half her life doing so.

"If I want an opinion, I'll read the opinion part of the newspaper. I do not want it when I'm trying to get the facts. I get incredibly angry. It really f***s me off."

We at Celebritish, like Keira, will only read the Daily Sport but we think perhaps if she's after facts she should cancel her subscription and invest in a broadsheet where she can get some facts and less opinion. She might also learn that the world doesn't actually revolve around her and if she just shut up people might stop writing about her.

Then in a rare moment of clarity she realises:

"I'm a moody bastard."

Finally, something we can all agree on.