Wednesday, 16 January 2008

David Beckham's 25 foot penis

As far as we can remember, David Beckham doesn't go on and on about Victoria's curious looking body, but this doesn't stop her salivating every time she sees his naked flesh.

“I’m proud to see his penis 25 foot tall. It’s great. It’s huge. It’s enormous. Massive.”

She hasn't lost her mind, she's referring to the pictures of a semi-naked Becks adorning billboards around the world for Emporio Armani. Much has been written about how impressive his package looks in the ad, but if you take perspective and padding out of the equation I think many women would be left sorely disappointed. Or rather, not sorely disappointed. Anyway, what was she saying?

“If I looked like that I’d walk down the street in my panties too.”

Woah, woah, woah! If Victoria Beckham had been born with an average-sized penis, she would walk around in her panties?! That's a mental image thats going to live with us forever.

While we're on the subject of Posh, Jack Nicholson has been singing her praises after she styled him for a recent photoshoot.

“I love Poshter, she’s lovely.”



Who?! We love it when people pretend to be friends by making up shitty nicknames for each other. Eh, Jackster?

"I loved working with her. She was charming, dressed me up nice. She’s a lovely gal. I’d work with her anytime."

Yeah, managing to make a pretty cool older man look like an idiot is really quite difficult, and for that we take our hat off to her.

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