Wednesday, 28 November 2007

Celebritish's big celebrity predictions

Receiving a press release about upcoming T4 programme Celebrity Predictions, hosted by rent-a-twat Dave Berry, got us thinking. What on earth does lie in store for our favourite celebrities in the coming year? Or even our unfavourite celebrities, such as those covered in the show: Winehouse, Doherty, Chantelle, Preston, Wills and Kate?

Well, here goes. Look back on this post in a year and marvel at our extreme psychic-ness:

Winehouse: certain death

Doherty: not death, he appears immune to it. Instead, he'll successfully kick the drugs, and take his music in a more poppy direction. A collaboration with Booty Luv sends him to number one with a bullet!

Chantelle: obscurity (we hope). Pregnancy by a fellow Z-list celebrity, leading to an annoyingly lucrative photoshoot with some rubbish magazine (more likely).

Preston: outrages Ordinary Boys fans by taking the band in a death metal direction and changing his name to Gerhardt Gutrot. Outrages non-Ordinary Boys fans by continuing to exist and make music at all.

Wills and Kate: Wills' well-publicised baldness will have him tortured by thoughts of ageing and his own mortality so we're guessing: engagement! Let's all buy hats!

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